I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
