I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
