The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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