mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I wish i was in the wii world.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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