Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
