love makes seman taste better
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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