after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
