i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
