do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Randomize
