So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
