so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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