I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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