I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
