you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
