While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
