I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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