If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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