one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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