FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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