But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Acid is not a monday night drug
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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