Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
