My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I think a kid would responsible me up
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
