Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Someone signed my nipple.
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