Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
