so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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