why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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