margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Found the puke drawer
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize