he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
