"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
