ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
