just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
