I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Barsexuality is the new black.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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