I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
