Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
