I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
MIDGETS
????
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
