CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
