i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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