I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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