On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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