even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
So much rum. So many feels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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