It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You were trust falling into bushes
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
