Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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