watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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