yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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