Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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