She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
