I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
