so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
