Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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