Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
