His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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