i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
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Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
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Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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