sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize
