Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
