I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
