Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
