Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
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