I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
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I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
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We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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