that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Enjoy the penises
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
